[ Grumble ]
9. Dependence
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I am changing the egg yolk in process, Not Really Really (17-SS-4) in Art Dusseldorf, Germany
After the changing process, the echo of worry comes back again and again. My responsibility never ceases. In contrast to this, most paintings can be installed and then left on their own to be encountered by an audience. As a result, the painting’s independent period is longer than that of Not Really Really (17-SS-4). The painting’s dependence on human actors is limited and mostly absent from the exhibition, so remain underneath the audience’s radar. Invisible maintenance, such as hanging the painting on the wall, lighting, de-installing, repair, conservation etc. I aim to limit Not Really Really (17-SS-4)’s independent period and extend its dependent period. For example, I change the egg yolk every 30 minutes to maintain the continuity of the work. As a result, Not Really Really (17-SS-4) will always need a person to take care of it and cannot exist independently in a gallery space.
I am the person who feels the need to shoulder the responsibilities for these worries because the artwork will definitely change if someone else is tending the work. The anxiety of the practice would also be projected onto another individual. One of the ways that I read this work, as the artist - and this is not necessarily conveyed to the audience unless they can read my body language - is by connecting the reflection of the object/material with my inner emotion. For example, the performance of renewing the egg yolk needs to be undertaken in total concentration throughout. I hold my breath and carefully place the fresh egg yolk onto the monocle plate. Bubbling in the back of my mind, is the assumption that the viewer will share the same apprehension about what might happen when a fragile egg yolk moves from my hand to the monocle plate. This is why I become so nervous during the renewing process, as I project the anticipation and pressure of the change-over of yolk as existing in the viewer as well. In tune, myself and audience, are in a similar mental state; anxious, nervous and worried about the transition of the egg yolk.
